Me
Yesterday I tugged and pulled on the twinset I wore all day long, either pulling it down to cover the gut or pulling the cardigan together to hide the gut. I was worn out by the end of the day. Today I wore a linen pants outfit that was loose enough so there was no battle going on. Yesterday's struggle still didn't stop me from buying junk at the grocery and even eating one section of Fudge Stripe cookies on the way home. Will I ever wake up??
I turn 40 on Sunday. The number's not bothering me at all. I'm bothering me. I truly feel like two people right now. My bad self is winning and is putting good self in a foul humor!! The other night I expressed to BZ that I'm ready for a change. I don't like myself physically, mentally, spiritually.
I want control over my life again. I've got to stop telling myself "tomorrow." I don't have a plan right now, but I know I've got to change my habits.
That's what's on my mind lately.
More later.