I need a wife
Life was fairly uneventful here this weekend. I did NOT go to B'ham for the bead show. I thought about it often Saturday, but just didn't do it. Our bank account is much healthier from my restraint, believe me!!
Friday began a cold war here between BZ and myself. We've had discussions about it before, several times as I'm sure many of you have. Chores. Duties. Responsibilities around the house. I know...I've beat the dead horse so much I have glue now!! BZ and I got into a small discussion Fri. night in bed before falling asleep. I'm not sure what started it, but when he rolled over and said in the most "don't-give-a-shit" voice "you're right; I don't do anything around here to help" I could have run a wooden stake through his heart!! I got up, went to the bead room for a while, cried a bit, and then cleaned off the bed in the guestroom and slept there. I had planned to go back to bed, but when I got back there and could hear him sleeping so soundly, that pissed me off again and I thought, well, hell, it didn't bother you one iota!! Saturday morning we both apologized, but we were still avoiding each other.
We did eventually sit down and discuss the chore problem once again. And once again, he admitted that he didn't do his share around the house. My gut feeling is BZ's only exposure to marriage and sharing was obviously his parents and then his first marriage. His parents are eastern European immigrants, both were held in work labor camps during WWII. They moved to Canada after the war, met each other and married. His mother has never worked outside the home, never driven, has walked everywhere, did EVERYTHING in the house. I think BZ expects the same from me except for the not working and not driving parts. In OH, we lived across from a nice shopping center with grocery, different shops, restaurants, bookstore. He was constantly suggesting we WALK over there, why didn't I walk to the grocery when I had to go, etc. I pointed out to him each and every time...we don't walk in Mississippi!!!
In his first marriage, it sounds like wife one did all the housekeeping and was a fanatic about it!! Before they married, she had to clean her parents house every Saturday. After they married, they still had to go to her parents' house on the weekend so she could clean it. Ain't that some shit?!?!! So bottom line, BZ has never lived with a lazy white woman before!! :)
We both like things to be clean, but we both hate having to clean them. I'm seriously considering looking into getting someone to come out once a week to do the basics...vacuum, mop, dust, clean a toilet or two. I'm sick to death of this "groundhog day" discussion and feeling the burdens stacking up on my shoulders and the resentment increasing against my husband, too! I know married life can be much better than this!!
So after our discussion, things were much better. I even suggested that maybe we need a "catch phrase" to use to make the other stop and think sometimes. BZ suggested "are we having a moment?" which we've both used several times already!! ...more in jest, but still!! We are both control freaks and hate giving in to the other. I told him one of us or, better yet, both of us need to grow up and be mature about all this. I get the feeling he's willing to let me be the one to do that. He's going to make my hair turn gray, swear to god!
So, Girls, that was pretty much my weekend. We had a nice visit over at Mom's Sunday, sitting around talking with my sister and two of her children and my mom. BZ even seemed to be enjoying himself. Maybe I will keep him. :)
Have a good one, Girls!