Groundhog Day
Time to have a come-to-Jesus meeting with myself. I started it last night laying in bed thinking. I didn't jump back on that wagon completely like I wrote I was going to. How sad is it that after two weeks of not eating white stuff, that I think I have to try it all, like it tastes different now?? Pretty damn sad. I'm only killing myself. No one else. Nobody else has to wake up and stand on these two aching feet, two painful ankles, two cracking knees and try to walk. When will I wake up completely and realize that I'M the one doing this to me; that I'M the only one that can change it??
What is holding me back? Why do I revert back to my old eating habits? I know I can do it, but why do I give in so many damn times??
I've given up the notion of ever being "skinny." That's just not going to happen and I know it. I'm just shooting for "can sit in an airplane seat without invading the neighbor"..."can sit in a theater seat and use the cup holder immediately close to me, not the one down from me"..."can shop for an hour at hot-mart and it won't kill my knees and feet"!!! That's my goal.
I've come to the realization that I will HAVE to get up and exercise. I've got to suck it up and realize that dieting is not going to be perfect (there will be foods I don't care for, but will need to eat and learn to like anyway), that exercising is not perfect (I'd rather sit at this computer and let the fat melt off).
It's time to get the demons out of my head. It's time for some changes!!
Have a good one, Girls!!